I now don't know what is happening to me??

Can anyone give a good reason??

firstly i damn piss abt myself skipping school's lesson so much.. i now dun even see myself like studying hard like last time.. i lost all my determination and stuffs... i also duno why ever since i started poly life.. i dun feel everything is getting better.. in fact it is getting from bad to worse!!
I hope for a better life but it turns out to be crap!

secondly i need to cope workin and life. not tt i dun wan to work.. how i wish i can dun wan to work. but in this situation i need to feed myself. my family are nt rich like some parents who help them wif their bills and travelling costs.. they even still give them allowance.. my parents tt they give is nt enuff.. plus i need to feed some1 too..

thirdly.. todae chef keep talkin to me on the bus.. it makes me think a lot.. i duno why.. maybe it have been bothering me bah.. He say i help him is ok.. but the more i help him is making things worse.. and in fact in the end i lose out and i cnt even hav the money to feed myself.. bascially now i dun eat becuz of him.. i want to save money at a fast rate and slim down faster.. it think it is a gd idea? but still the same meaning.. i help him thn who will come and help me?? i guess myself??

I now feel feverish after workin.. and having bad headache.. even though i tel him nt to worry abt me.. he also dun bother or reply.. guess he was bz drinking bah... make me worry and i cnt slp due to tt.. now i am the one worrying.. i duno how long i can take it.. but i noe it will not be long.. he also say tt if he is unattached, things will be better.. maybe i shld let go.. i duno.. i am confused.. No1 undertstands it.. though i say it is ok and alright, it will nvr be.. cuz it already is not.. how long i will able to pretend wid my mask?? i need a break!! maybe i shld juz work all the way and dun find him.

let me be alone for awhile. juz keep myself bz bah.. dun bother and he also dun bother.. we will drift apart.. i can see it..i noe i think too much.. but i can sense.. Since you say out the question.. making me feel that i am an extra person.. i shld get out of ur life!..Maybe i will.. for ur happiness and ur troubles to be gone.. Thanks for telling it to me anyway..i didn't noe i was a pain in an ass for you..

♥ 12:17:00 AM